Ginger in a snap.

I have really struggled lately with being pregnant. I feel tired all the time, I hate gaining weight, and I sweat in 5o degree weather. I have become the biggest complainer on the planet. I've even thought is it possible that I have depression. This past Sunday was the worst, but since then, I have decided to take action, and make the best of the situation. My obgyn's office called today and let me know that I need to take a fasting blood glucose test, the levels of my initial test where high, and they need to rule out the possibility of gestational diabetes. With the news, I felt a sense of calm, could this be the reason for my excessive tiredness, maybe. But, I decided that instead of worry, I am going to do the right things for Ella and I. I know with more exercise, healthier eating habits, and less sugar I will feel better and have more energy. Not only that, but I've started watching shows about newborns and it's impossible to be negative when I see those big eyes and adorable little hands and feet.

To begin my change of attitude, I decided that the first thing that must happen is to change my hair color. I have returned to my old faithful, red hair. It has always been my favorite and it embodies my personality much better than all the rest. Red is the color of passion and I need my passion back. So here is the big reveal... Ginger in a snap.

Gifts my daughter has given me

Even though Ella is still in the womb, she has already given me some of the most precious gifts imaginable.

*She has given me a new respect, and has renewed my sense of awe, with the female body.

**She has given me joy, everytime one of her little limbs kicks and punches, letting me know she is there.

***She has given me the opportunity to look at Joe through new eyes. To see him as he will be-as a father. It makes me cry to think about it. He will be the most wonderful, attentive, and loving father there ever was.

****She has given me an opportunity to look at myself. To search within myself and discover what I can give her. Who I want to be. What I can share.

*****She has given me a sense of the infinite. She and I, one, dependent upon, and independent of eachother. I know it will be like this forever. She will always be my daughter.

******She has given me the title of mother. The most important title in the world.

*******She has given me fear: fear of giving birth, fear of being a bad parent, fear of not being ready to be a mother, fear for her safety and well-being, and so many more. But giving me the chance to overcome these fears and gain strength.

********She has given me the gift of tears. Sometimes it feels good to just cry and goodness knows, that's never a problem for pregnant women.

*********But most of all. She has given me the gift of love. I don't even know her and I love her. She is in all of my thoughts, a moment doesn't go by where I don't feel overwhelmed with love for her. I know she is going to be a beautiful and amazing person-she is her fathers daughter after all-and I can't wait to meet her.

Live list-Portland Art Museum

Joe and I visited the Portland Art Museum this weekend.

My favorite exhibit was the Ganesha, it is the newest edition to the museum. It is a stone sculpture depicting the Asian diety of beginnings and obstacles. It is beautiful, full of lore and history, enigmatic, and has an unending layering of eastern symbolism.

Joe's favorite was a Modern piece by Sanford Biggers titled "Blossom". It is a piano that appears to be growing within a tree. The piano actually plays music.

It's truly amazing.

The art museum doesn't allow camera's, so Joe and I took a few pictures on the doorsteps of this beautiful church next door.

I love him. We had such a good time. I am becoming so pregnant. Seven months next Saturday and a little over 20pnds.
But still sassy.

Feeling Sentimental

Joe and I moved into our new place yesterday, we've settled in, we even took Cosmo for his customary "smell everything" walk around the neighborhood. I feel so blessed to have Joe in my life. The love he has brought to my life has forever changed my very being. Our life together is so beautiful, every day I look into his eyes and am reminded of how very lucky I am. I am so proud of everything he does and am even more proud that he is mine.