What matters most...

I went to my 37 week check-up today, 11 days since my last, and I haven't gained a pound! Not even an ounce! The weight gain is finally over!!! Hooray! But that's not what matters most (although it is quite a relief).


What matters most:
My relationship with my mother.

1. She has always been my best friend, my biggest advocate, my cheerleader, my rock. Whenever I need to talk, she is there. Whenever I need to vent, she listens. Whenever I need someone to understand, she tries to.
2. Thank you mom. Thank you for taking me to tea rooms, where I grew to love finger sandwiches and jasmine tea. Thank you for sharing your love of botanical gardens and spending afternoons enjoying them with me. Thank you for acting goofy and silly, for dancing wildly to "Heart," and teaching me about love and the importance of it penetrating every area of my life. Thank you for teaching me to hate what is bad and love what is good. Thank you for being Unique. Thoughtful. Selfless. Creative. Kind. Sassy. and My partner in crime. I love you with all my heart.

My relationship with my husband.

• He has loved me as I am, right from the start. He tries to give me everything, when all I want is him. He comes with me to every doctors appointment, even the not so fun ones, and he stays right by my side. He doesn't judge me for my failings or run from my rants and raves. He listens patiently and genuinely tries to help. He gives to everyone. He is the most loving person I have ever known.
• Thank you my dear sweet husband. Thank you for reminding me that there is light, when sometimes all I see is darkness. Thank you for reinstilling the trust I had lost in all of humanity. Thank you for being a man I could truly respect and adore. Thank you for trying so hard to understand how complicated I am. Thank you for the laughter and thank you for the love. Thank you for being Amazingly Creative. Loving. Genuine. Giving. Hilarious. Silly. Sensitive. Adventurous. and the father of our lovely daughter Ella. Couldn't have done it without you. You are my heart.
  

And we both look very European in this picture.

My relationship with Cosmo, my poochy.

• He has taught me about patience, consistency, and unconditional love. He crawls into my lap when I cry and kisses me. He has given me a glimpse into his world, a world of dogs, their language, their motivations, and their loyalty. We have shared many adventures and he always has energy for more. I have watched him grow, conquer fears, and make doggy friends. He knows me better than most and he doesn't even understand my language.

Thank you Cosmo. Thank you for showing me my weaknesses and pushing me to overcome them. Thank you for renewing my love of nature, long walks, and thank you for making me laugh. You are such a goofy dog. Thank you for giving me the chance to do it right the next time. Thank you for being Goofy. Inquisitive. Energetic. Loyal. A Canine. Playful. Smart. And a good Friend. Thank you for showing me I always have more to learn. You will always be my first, "baby." My relationship with Ella, my daughter, scheduled to arrive any day now.

• She has given me so much and she isn't even born. I have touched on this in previous blogs and can't wait to expound on it in the future. Hopefully she and I can be as close as my mother and I are. Thank you Ella, for an end in sight. Pregnancy is very tiring. Thank you Ella, you are a part of me.

My relationship with myself.

• I am glad to be socially conscience and aware. Even though being sensitive has been a curse at times, I wouldn't change the innate love I have for every being, non-being, and idea. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and LOVE to learn. I may have let myself down in the past but I never stay down for long. I am a fighter. A soldier. A child of the sixties born 30 yrs too late. Wild yet cautious. Introspective. A mystery to even myself sometimes. I wouldn't have it any other way. And most importantly a work in progress. Me. I am only me and that is beautiful.

Other things that matter most.

• My relationship with the earth-the eternal mother.
• My relationship with humanity-my link to the bigger picture.
• Love
• My dad of course and my brother. (They are certainly not afterthoughts.)

And peace baby! Peace!